Coping with Rejection – my 6 top tips!

They say you’re not a proper writer until you experience rejection. No point beating about the bush here – rejection sucks. Writing is so personal that you automatically think you’re being rejected as an individual as opposed to the more clinical reason which is that the agent or publisher simply doesn’t think they’ll make enough money from your novel. Saying that, there does have to be a certain amount of emotion involved. They have to love your writing enough to want to fight for it. Agents must pitch to editors and editors, in turn, have to persuade sales teams. They’re going to need to be as passionate about your book as you are.

There’s as many different types of rejection as there are agents and editors, so I’ve split them into five categories:

A Silence
AKA “black holes”. Some of them only respond if they’re interested. Understandable because they get thousands of submissions a year. But it’s tough on the author who doesn’t get any closure.

B The Form
AKA the bog-standard rejection, which the vast majority of queries get. A dead giveaway is that it’s usually signed by unknownassistantwhomakesthetea@literaryorganisation.com and contains standard wording about having “read your project with interest but it’s not right for us.” Chances are this one never made it to the agent/editor.

C The Almost-Form
As B but signed by the agent/editor in person. Though again, it’ll contain something generic about not being right for their list. Better than B because at least the assistant thought it worth passing on to the agent even if the agent didn’t get past the first page.

D The Non-Form
From the agent/editor in person and says something specific about your writing such as the style, dialogue, whether they like the dramatic nature etc. But they’re not in love with it enough to want to see more. Better than C because at least they felt compelled to add a few extra words. When they have hundreds of rejections to send out that day (rejection day always seems to be a Friday – note to self, don’t check e:mails on Fridays) taking the time to add a personal comment is an endorsement.

E The Almost There
At this point they’ve usually asked for and read your full manuscript. They may even have loved it and in some cases phoned or met you in person to discuss your manuscript and your writing aspirations. But ultimately they decide to pass and usually they explain why.

So what to do? This will depend on the type of rejection.

For A & B Check your query letter, especially if you’re getting a lot of this type. Check the agency/publisher’s website for their specific requirements. They’re looking for reasons to reject so if they ask for a 3-line hook in your query letter, don’t stretch it to 4!

For C As A & B but consider your sample chapters too. The agent might have read the first couple of pages. Do they draw the reader in from the beginning? Is there anything there to give the agent an excuse for not reading on till the end?

For D This one’s a bit harder. Chances are your query letter is good enough to get them to read your work and the writing is good enough to entice them past Page 1. So check your synopsis and chapters again. Get a second opinion – and not from a friend or family member who’d avoid brutal honesty! Try writing groups, critique groups or even a professional critique service.

For E This is the worst type of rejection. The closer you get to success, the harder it gets. An “almost-there” represents a strong endorsement of the quality of your writing. Someone, somewhere in the industry, who makes a living out of selling books, loves your book –  all of it. That’s a massive deal. However, they may not be confident about the genre selling enough, or they’ve been unable to persuade their colleagues it’s worth investing in – or perhaps they have another author on their list who’s too similar thus presenting a conflict of interest. At this point you’ve spent hours on your project; proof-reading, submitting, refining and believing in your work. It really sucks when it falls at the final hurdle.

So here’s my SIX top tips for coping with rejection, in particular an “almost-there”.

1 Throw a wobbly. No, really. Let it out. Find some way to release that frustration be it a long walk, a run or an X-box shoot-out. With my latest almost-there I spent the evening playing Call of Duty with my teenage daughter. The air turned blue, gin was served, I shot a lot of imaginary people and felt a whole lot better afterwards.

2 Tell someone. Writer buddies, friends, family. People who understand. Open the prosecco you were keeping on ice and celebrate supportive friends. The day after I received my almost-there rejection a lovely writer friend came over and we toasted friendship, the endorsement and chatted about the future. I also have a wonderful team of critique pals who provided online support and have experienced the dreaded almost-there so know how it feels.

3 Look after yourself. Fresh air, a healthy meal, a good night’s sleep. Chances are you’ve been burning the midnight oil and living on adrenaline while writing, editing and submitting your novel which over the weeks and months will have turned into a very needy baby. Time to give baby a rest and look after you! Go for a walk in the woods, cuddle your favourite pet, whatever floats your boat (see the bottom of this post for a photo of who I cuddle when I need cheering up).

4 Remember it’s happened to the best of them. Checks the stats on the internet. JK Rowling had “loads” (in her words) of rejections, not only for the boy wizard, but her alter-ego Robert Galbraith received a few less than complimentary responses from publishers. Gone With the Wind was rejected almost 40 times before it was published. Agatha Christie endured 5 years of rejection and Beatrix Potter had so many rejections she turned to self-publishing.

5 Write your next book. Set aside your almost-there-but-rejected book and focus on another one. You’re a writer, right? In which case you’re not going to just write one book, you’re going to write a lot. Focus on the next one and the next until you crack it. Then revisit the almost-there’s. They might be suitable for release as your second or third book once you’ve built up a readership.

6 Re-submit. You’ll never be immune to rejection but the emotional scar tissue does toughen you up. Resubmit to those agents/publishers and try again. The ones who gave you good feedback, including the almost-there’s will have liked something about your work. Send in a new project and remind them what they liked about the first.

I loathe clichés but they do say that the only way to guarantee never succeeding is to give up. So for 2018 my resolution is to persevere and keep writing!

Em xx

A little post-rejection pet therapy with a Burmese Python ?

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